The Breakup

Breaking up is really hard to do.  I find myself crying at odd moments.  My mind will wander off to special times or things that we used to do together.  I feel sad sometimes.  Then the yearning for what was.

The man whom I had been seeing for 2 years, he and I have called it quits.  Really though, it was all my doing.  I know that I like and respect him.  The thing is, I was not in love with him.  I know, I know, you’re probably thinking that when you find someone good, loving and kind, that you should hold onto him.  I agree to a point.

This man, has so many of the qualities that I do want in a partner.  He has a big, open heart, is kind, generous, loving, fun, adventurous, sharing and so on.  I just wasn’t in love with him.  I know that I could grow to love him.  It would be comfortable, safe, with mutual respect.

At this point in my life though, I know that I deserve the kind of love that I am seeking.  My twin soul.  I deserve unconditional love, respect and trust.  Someone who has my back as I have his.  A man who will encourage me and allow me My Wishto grow and be the me that I am.  I want to be able to speak freely and to feel comfortable without having to change who I am to fit in with the relationship.  I need acceptance and peace in my life.

Before this relationship, I was really needy, possessive and somewhat jealous at times.  It doesn’t mean that I will never feel this way again but I have grown so much more.

This man helped me to heal my heart after a terrible divorce.  Like attracts like.  He was actually in a similar situation in his life when he met me.  He had not reached the divorce stage yet.  I had been married for a long time and within the marriage, I did not take care and nurture myself.  This new person came into my life and helped to realize that I was worthy of love.  I had lost myself and so had he.

I knew that our togetherness was only to be for a season.  I told him so right from the beginning.  Of course, at the end he wanted us to keep going and I refused.  It was time.  I know in my heart that there is someone waiting to give him the love that he deserves.  The same is waiting for me,  We just had to have the courage to let go.

I wanted to let go in a way that showed that we loved and respected each other.  It also showed how much we had mature when we got together for the last time.  No, not sexually but letting go in love.  I thanked him for being in my life and loving me.

Even though I have many thoughts of he and I, I smile when I think of him.  I wish him well in all things.  He holds a special place in my heart.

I know that some would say that it doesn’t work that way.  I’m here to say that it does.  Absolutely!  If that is what you truly choose and intend for yourself and others, then it does work that way.

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